“Hall hath no fury like a spurned woman,” the old saying goes. And “Hell hath no fury like a spurned bureaucrat,” Milton Friedman famously corrected. I’d agree that both are damn angry sorts, but neither, I think, is the worst. There’s an animal far more annoying, more petty, nasty and grating – insufferably, perpetually infuriating.
Yes, I’m talking about the “Napoleon.” The “Little Guy” we all know from the office who’s been gifted a position of power and never lets anyone forget it – inflicts himself on all of those around him. Yes, he was virgin past twenty. Yes, he took his cousin to the prom. And, of course, he was the head hall monitor. But now he’s a man of peerage – a white collar mid-level vassal, with “Esquire” or “Vice President” in his title.
And the fiefs below him Will Pay.
You run into countless Napoleons in law. Every fifth office seems to house another. This slice of Happy Hour is for Amateurs is about a run-in I had with one during my first law firm interview, a particularly odd morning I’d started off by getting hit by a car (the rest of that background’s in the book):
“I’ve always liked Philadelphia. It’s a good midpoint between NY and DC”.
Absolute classic. As I sit here procrastinating for my own interview, here’s to hoping I get to work that gem into the mix tomorrow.
“I’m ready to move to NY because…of its proximity to the Atlantic.”
PL: Well, how else do answer “Why Philly?”
Because it’s gorgeous? Because of it’s culture? Because of the weather? All the hot chicks?
In the past few years, the City has been rated the:
1. Least entrepreneurial;
2. Ugliest (twice); and
3. Fattest.
It’s a nice enough town, but let’s face it – Philly’s nobody’s first choice. Hell, Pennsylvania’s nobody’s first choice. Geriatric, over-regulated and, to borrow a line from Johnny Rotten in “Holidays in the Sun,” a place with “no future… no future for you.”
God bless the place. I wish it well. But if I had to bet, in a decade they’ll be calling it “North Baltimore.”
Haha, I didn’t take my cousin to the prom, but I did lose my virginity 3 months after I turned 20.
I think instead of analyzing the Napoleon using sexual experience as the tell, I think it has to be sports. As embarrassing as it is to not lose it by 20, it’s gotta be worse to never size up an opponent in any sport and beat them. When I think of a Napoleon, I think of a kid who got so bitter at gym class, he couldn’t wait til someday, he’d make You pay.
(I still am pissed it happened at 20. The difference between 19 and 20, while only a couple months, is the huge in terms of how both ages are portrayed)
PL: Perhaps. But competitive sports peter out in college for most people. Not getting laid’s for life if you’re a certain stripe of freak.