This piece of Happy Hour is for Amateurs deals with an exceedingly common subject – the boss who lives to torture his workers. But as much as we’ve all known his kind, toiled under his constant irritation, the question is, What do you call him? You can spot what makes him what he is. The undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome, the mid-life recognition he’s trapped in a profoundly insignificant life… the family he’d love to leave, with the Zoloft-tranquilized wife, Ritalin-addled brats and their heaving tuition costs. And yet as obvious as all that is, no easy label fits. This is where he’s undefinable, inscrutable – where no species or genus applies.
Or perhaps that’s all wrong, the worst kind of over-thinking, missing a plain-as-day answer. Maybe he’s the simplest of creatures, and the only thing making him a mystery is a Jeckyll and Hyde inconsistency.
I’ll never know for certain. But I’ve analyzed this animal at length. Worked with experts in the field, applied the most rigorous testing. And though a sure diagnosis still eludes me, there have been those blessed epiphanies, the occasional “Eureka” moments. In the interests of science, of animal behavior and anthropology… in the spirit of the greats from Darwin to Dawkins to Desmond Morris, a case study for your consideration:
Sudden Asshole Syndrome*
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* Again, you may need to rotate the PDF file counterclockwise to read the piece.
I bought your book right when it came out, and I’d hoped to never experience this phenomenon.
9 months later my boss quit, and they hired someone who acutely suffers from this affliction. It’s like you said- I wish they were just a dick. I can handle a dick, because I’m a dick. We’re all dicks, at least sometimes.
But this breed of shithead is totally awful.
PL: Take him on. They crumble when confronted. Coolly, calmly, civilly… but stop him before it gets worse. Once you allow one the slightest upper hand they run wild with it.
I saw this on corporate structures: http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-or-the-office-according-to-the-office/
It’s rather simpleminded using a fictional show as a genuine allegory for corporate hierarchies, but I think your SAS sufferer is one of those clueless middle management types. They’re the slightly less clueless ones that realize how dead-end their lives are, how they’re just insulation between those that can go further in life and those that do the work and live outside the office. They see how pointless it is beyond the paycheck, and they take their frustrations out on those below them, simple malevolence. It’s not just that he’s insignificant, it’s also that he can’t fix himself and be anything better. He’s stuck being upper management’s chump and just wants a punching bag to make himself feel better or more powerful. Others handle this problem by lying to themselves and buying “Best Boss in the World” mugs for themselves. Others use chemicals or amoral behaviour.
The Malevolent Chump, there’s your species name.
PL: Otherwise known as a “Tool.”
It’s even worse than that- It’s a “she.”
PL: Charm her. Exploit the sexual tension.
Well, unless she’s hideous. In which case, God be with you, and you’ve all my sympathies.
eee! I love your nuggies-
PL: Thanks.
“PL: Take him on. They crumble when confronted. Coolly, calmly, civilly… but stop him before it gets worse. Once you allow one the slightest upper hand they run wild with it.”
Sometimes the situation just doesn’t work out because the structure that you work in allows this type of behavior. Any attempt to confront the individual is met with sanction. I do generally agree with your premise on how to deal with this situation.
PL: I understand your point, but once you demonstrate that you’re not going to be a shrinking violet, the line in the sand is drawn. People respect and want to retain an employee who politely, but curtly holds his or her ground. And conversely, they’ll run all over someone who doesn’t.