Simple title, simple thrust. This is the first of a two part series on cars.
They’re the setting of so much else I’ve written – so many bare knuckle moments, frantic idiot runs with no destination in mind. Hardly surprising, of course. Cars are our every concept of freedom crafted into pistons and gears. When the walls close in as they do, your car’s your only escape – a three thousand pound metal tribute to the notion of Running Away – “Midnight Rambler” at eleven, highway laid out ahead. And even if it’s just your commute, a respite, a fantasy, that yes, if the day came where you gave up and snapped – if spending one more moment on the treadmill seemed a fate worse than terminal cancer – you could gas the motherfucker up, point it down the nearest open road and vanish into the Horizon.
Yes, I love cars. I’ve owned at least dozen in my life, and I’ve driven everywhere, all the time, even when I didn’t have to. But I’ve never discussed them here, at least in depth. Never mentioned any dream cars – what I’d buy if I won the Powerball.
That’s a shame, and it needs to be remedied. And considering we’re in the midst of a depression, what better time to discuss exotic sport coupes and 1.5 million dollar SUVs with gold plated windows and their own private supply of ultra exclusive vodka? Seriously – you haven’t tested the capabilities of any respectable SUV until you’ve taken the bastard four-wheeling in a snowstorm on three or four shakers’ worth of Red Bull and vodka… windows open, for proper communing with nature.
But enough about the night I got the truck hung up in that Nativity Scene (the AA classes are bad enough). Here it is, a blue ribbon round table on, simply, Cars.
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• Derek Kreindler is an automotive journalist based in Toronto. His work can be seen at various online outlets, and at his blog, Rich Corinthian Leather. Derek is fortunate enough to have driven everything from a Ford Escort to a 650 horsepower Nissan GTR.
• “Rosie Palmer”… Well, I asked Rosie for an intro. This is what I received:
In addition to being a life long motor sports enthusiast and a graduate of the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Major Saul Kellerman was the first Jew in space. The Major is currently on administrative leave from NASA pending the conclusion of an investigation surrounding unauthorized use of “zero gravity foot power” in the Discovery hangar (he assures us he was “out of town when that shit went down”). In his free time, he enjoys his collection of pre-war Indy cars and Bonsai farming. Major Kellerman is also socially conscious, the founder of several charity organizations dedicated to freeing “political prisoners” Ben Kramer and Randy Lanier.
Readers of the comments and a few pieces from the past might recognize Rosie under a different name. Readers of Happy Hour might know him from this description:
[O]ne of those rare personalities that defies simple definition – a huge, hulking freak, equal parts menacing and absurd and one of those strange minds who could be the smartest and dumbest person in the room at once… a violent force of nature – reckless, monstrous, unbridled by boundaries of money, time, distance or common sense, the sort of lunatic who’d start the weekend at the corner pub and end it two states away, penniless, wandering around a hotel with nothing but “How?” in his head.
That was a sketch from a time and place long past, what almost feels like a lifetime ago. But even now, yes – Rosie’s foot remains on the gas. He races cars. And in the right set of circumstances, just about anything else with an engine in it.
• “Autoproficianado” is a car lover who’s spent his entire career in the automotive industry, much of it in exotic vehicle market. He’s worked in several different positions in the field, along the way gaining knowledge on buyers, market trends and the nuts and bolts of the machines most people only dream about owning.
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To start it off, let’s have the conversation about dream cars. You can have any three vehicles on the world, any year model. Which do you go with?
DK: I’ve always hated this question, from the time I was three and people asked me “what’s your favorite car.” I never have an answer, because there’s too many. Most people gravitate towards sports cars or expensive luxury cars (and no doubt, I do too), but I have a lot of oddball choices. I like the Volkswagen Phaeton because it’s one of the finest cars ever made that nobody knows about (or would recognize). I like the Citroen DS because it’s still technologically advanced despite being made in 1959. Hell, I drive a Mazda Miata, which brings up all sorts of shit-talking from my friends (but car people know it’s the best sports car this side of a Porsche 911).
Rosie: As you know, I’m largely an American car guy. Big loud and shiny. It’s basically my measure of anything I consume. It can be cars, girls, food or booze… It’s got t0 be big, loud and shiny. I mean hell, I drive a lifted F250 diesel crew cab on a long haul commute in infamously bad California traffic. That said, I do have some personality quirks (defects) that push me to be somewhat inconsistent in my tastes (the Per Jouet/MD 20/20 night at the beach, for example). So my choices are kind of all over the road, so to speak. Anyhow, enjoy my efforts to make myself look stupid…
1. 1988 Nissan GTP ZX-Turbo (either the Lola 810 based car or the Trevor Harris revised car). I want to say the Mazda 787B LeMans winner, with its sexy and otherworldly 4 rotor Wankel engine. You know Wankel dreamed the basic combustion cycle for that engine while he was asleep. Maybe it’s the mushrooms, but man, that really freaks me out. That said, the Nissan is a sentimental favorite of mine.
2. Hard not to pick that Russian SUV with the whale cock interior… I’m just sayin’… (Although I will admit that the thought of sitting on a whale penis is a bit, um fruity… but hey if you’re going to go fruity, might as well be a size queen!)
3. OK, I know… I know… I’ve got to be a good guy and pick one “real’ car that I would actually drive around, huh? Shelby Cobra. A 427 car. I know the “purists” will claim that the 289 car built the racing history but the 427 car is too much of everything, which as Bob Weir will tell you, is just enough… If you don’t already own a Cobra, then it has to be on your wish list, otherwise your penis will fall off (I’m starting to see some sort of theme here, I guess I shouldn’t have watched that John Waters stand-up special last night).
4. Since that second choice was clearly a fraud, I’ll give you my third choice. One problem, my third choice is a tie between two different cars… I’m making a mockery of this already aren’t I? Anyhow, the opening sequence of Cannonball Run should put the Lamborghini Countach LP5000S on anyone’s top three list. The sound of the motor, the over the top looks, Adrienne Barbeau’s enormous breasts… It’s on my list and I don’t give a crap if I have to park it in my living room and just look at it because it doesn’t run. The other car is a car I fell in love with as a kid. It oozes style, Americana and Elvis driving from the back while his pet monkey rides in the driver’s seat… It’s the 1958 Eldorado Biarritz. From the stainless steel roof to the “space age” jet intake trim on the sides, nothing says we dropped to A-bombs on your ass like the top of the line ‘58 Caddy.
Autoproficianado:
No other car appreciates in value while you’re driving it. Economically, if you can buy one it will never cost you anything. They only made 106 in different variants and it was made in an era where CAFÉ (emissions regulations) and DOT safety requirements (ABS, Airbags and electronic driver aids which add weight and take from the driving experience) didn’t limit what type of car you could build. The driving dynamics are uncompromised. A manufacturer couldn’t build one today if they wanted to. You can’t get one. They’re just not for sale. If someone would sell it to you, you’d be lucky to get it for 5 million dollars today. That number will continue to rise exponentially over time. It’ll be worth 10 million dollars in 2015; I promise you. The car does at least 231mph. It’s made of carbon fiber, Kevlar, magnesium and gold foil. It looks like a space ship under the skin. Today’s supercars don’t use some of the technology these guys were using 20 years ago. It’s got the doors, looks, performance and exclusivity of the quintessential supercar. It’s a three seater with the driver’s seat in the center position and a passenger seat on either side. The car is so awesome that you can drive it with your wife in one seat and your girlfriend in the other and both of them are cool with it. They’ll blow you as you warp past the 200mph club. They’ll have to, it gives that much wood. It is my unicorn. I want one like a Christmas puppy.
Three others that touch my heart and cause me to grow in the pants:
Dodge Viper 1998 GT2 GTS-R – The coolest of American muscle cars
Bugatti 1939 57C Van Vooren – The most beautiful car ever built
Bentley Continental SC – This cars’ got it like stacks and hoes. Pimp.
I understand people buying exotic sports cars, but one thing that’s always baffled me is why people buy things like Bentleys or Rolls Royces. Aside from the “I have fuck you money” cachet, what do these cars offer that one can’t find in an Audi W12 or a Benz 600?
DK: Once upon a time, buying a Bentley or a Rolls Royce actually meant something. Literally everything was bespoke, they weren’t gaudy (Bentley didn’t even advertise their horsepower until recently, merely stating it was “adequate”.) Kings and statesmen were chauffeured in a Rolls Royce, while rogue gentlemen types with too much money and time drove Bentleys – and they were monsters. Now they’re based on BMWs and even Volkswagens (in the case of the Bentley). The Bentley Continental is the same as an Audi A8 W12 and the Volkswagen Phaeton.
But buying a German car used to be a true exercise in “fuck you” money. Before the 190E, or 0 down $299 a month deals on a C230, a Benz came only in a sedan, with a black interior, vinyl seats and a diesel engine (0-60 time estimated at 20 seconds) with a 4-speed manual. And it cost more than a loaded Lincoln or Cadillac (back when Cadillac meant something, too). So really, buying a Mercedes wasn’t a rational decision, it was a “fuck you I’m rich and have avant-garde tastes” purchase. BMWs were something else; some magazine writers declared that BMW’s were the finest driving machines available, and people bought into it. Then, like Rolex (which makes good, rugged, but not overly sophisticated watches) they became a yuppie status symbol, and cars like the E30 came out, which were little more than race cars and too raw for the L.A. law set – they bought the 318i, debadged of course.
Rosie: The only guys I know who own Bentleys are Armenian pimps and MMA fighters… I suppose you could extrapolate what you will from that… There’s an element of perverse criminality that’s drawn to those cars. Any time you see a fat, old, white guy driving one rest assured that he made his fortune the old fashioned way; white collar crime.
Autoproficianado: Most exotic sports car owners don’t even know how to drive their cars. Half of these guys just want to have the prestige. It’s amazing what you can put a Ferrari badge on that sells. Ferrari socks, really? This idea of prestige goes for Bentley and Rolls-Royce owners too.
Bentley and Rolls-Royce are great cars, however. Bentley offers a Continental GT Coupe and it’s a sports car. The base GT is 550hp, AWD and at 100 mph it feels like you’re standing still. It has grip for days and the passing power on the highway is unbelievable. The SuperSports version at 621hp competes with a 911 turbo. It’s ridiculous for a 5,000 lb car to do 0-60 in 3.7 seconds. The Rolls-Royce is remarkably quiet, smooth and comfortable. There’s nothing like it. Where Maybach is just an oversized S-Class from Mercedes-Benz, the Rolls-Royce is an experience. The interior is so quiet you feel like you’re in space. This feeling is complimented by their starlight LED headliner. There’s nothing cooler than coach doors that close themselves. The engineering that goes into their umbrellas is uncompromising. The car is so solid and the suspension so compliant that when your driver hits speed bumps at 40mph your champagne won’t spill from your RR engraved crystal glasses. The attention to detail, the hides and grain are so luxurious that it’s like wearing a tux. It just feels good. Other good feelings come from the ample space to be taken advantage of in the back.
OK. No one needs one.
People buy these for status but also because they’re bored with being “Strivers Class.” It’s been said a man is only as loyal as his options. When a guy gets to the point where he believes that everyone has a 911 Turbo he needs something else. If people didn’t feel that way then boutique car companies like Spyker and Pagani wouldn’t exist.
Let me narrow the focus a bit. A lot of lawyers read this site, and lawyers like to buy the upper middle class status cars – Lexus, Benz, Audi, BMW, Porsche. What would you say are the best cars in the “striver’s class” vehicle demographic – say, between $40k and $100k?
Rosie: OK, I’m actually going to try to field this one seriously because I’m sick of watching people who only make a hundred or hundred and a half a year piss away their salaries on an A6 that frankly won’t impress anyone this side of an under aged Mexican car-jacker. The people who live in the “striver’s” demographic aren’t going to buy the best car in their price range so it doesn’t really matter what you tell them to buy. Personally, the G8 GXP and the CTS-V would be my choices, because they’re American cars and they’ve got the goods. Buying these cars funds those grandparents that put you though law school’s pensions. And don’t you think you owe them a bit more that referring to them as “quaint” or “deceased”? Additionally, they’re great cars. Flat out better cars than any of the Lexis, BMWs or Infiniti that I’ve driven. I guess, if I was going to do everyone a favor, I’d strongly endorse the AMG C63 to every last “striver” I could get my hands on. The car is a rocket ship and the vast majority of these people will break their asses in no time. And let’s face it, wouldn’t the world be a better place with less of the type of people who buy C Class Mercedes?
And while I’m on my bully pulpit, I want to make one thing virtually clear. Adult men don’t drive 3 Series BMWs (M3 coupes excepted). And adult men don’t drive Convertibles unless they’re made by Cadillac or Lincoln and unless they were built before 1973. I hope people are taking notes, because this is Important. Nothing says “my life didn’t turn out quite the way I expected” like a 35 year old guy in a 330i.
Autoproficianado: The answer is Porsche. Mercedes-Benz, Audi, BMW and (unfortunately held in the same esteem) Lexus are all competing with each other. The Porsche is in a different league. The steering feel, handling, performance and quality can’t even be compared to in the same breath as the others. If you’re “striving” and you buy a Lexus, BMW, Mercedes-Benz or Audi you’re not really setting yourself apart from anyone else. You’re just competing. With a Porsche you can spend tens of thousands of dollars on custom options and even get leather on your a/c vents. The other brands don’t offer that level of bespoke.
The best of each brand available today:
Audi- NO, not the R8 V10. It’s over 100K (get the Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 instead if you’ve got the bread) and you can’t get the Q7 V12 TDI (Turbo diesel) OR the RS6 in the states. The RS5 is not out yet and they don’t make the RS4 anymore…I guess I can’t eat the cake right now so I’d take the S5. It’s sexy and the first real coupe Audi’s offered in decades.
BMW – 135i or upcoming 1 Series M. It’s light, small and fun.
Mercedes-Benz – G55 (A low mileage used 2009 barely makes the cut at 99K or less). I actually like something offered by Mercedes-Benz and it’s this car. It’s Mercedes-Benz at its best. The truck is 30yrs old. They stuck the biggest motor they could into it. It’s a big obnoxious heavy box like all the other Mercedes-Benz’s. It’s stupid. But hey, it chirps in 2nd gear and for that I love it.
Lexus – I hate every car they make. I hate them like I hate Ferrari. Oh, by the way. FUCK FERRARI.
What would you say are the ultimate sucker cars in that demographic, the ones people overspend on for status, but aren’t worth near the sticker price? I want to know who I can smugly feel superior to in the parking garage (besides the guys driving top end Range Rovers).
DK: Well, for starters, any Land Rover or Range Rover is a piece of shit. They were once good cars that you could take deep into the bogs and moors of England , go hunting, then take your wife to the theatre in them. Now they have grilles that look like an electric razor, abysmal reliability, and are driven by people who feel threatened by the Mercedes G-Wagen; which is also a military vehicle, originally developed for the Shah of Iran and used by a lot of armed forces, but they swaddled it in leather and wood and people pay $100,000 for a truck that’s no good in urban conditions
The biggest sucker cars are ragtop sports cars, that weren’t designed as ragtops to begin with. So the Boxster, which everyone dumps on, is actually a dynamically superior car to the 911 Cabriolet. The engine is better placed, it’s a lighter car, and it’s been braced significantly to compensate for the rigidity that’s lost when you remove a car’s hard roof. You will regularly see people taking their Boxsters to the track. The 911 droptop is a total poseur car, and the BMW M3 Cabriolet is even worse. They are always driven by douchebags or trophy wives, and always automatic.
Rosie: The top tier Japanese luxury cars. Quality is perception only. Depreciation rivals that of American cars. Ride quality is poor and the greatest performance improvement they’ve come up with is the eccentrically shaped throttle body actuator which makes it feel like the car is accelerating rapidly at low speed by opening the throttle in a nonlinear fashion. If I ever want to die in a fiery inferno, I’m going out like Richard Pryor, not in a Toyota with an ECU that says “HAL 9000” on it…
Because I try to avoid driving these cars, I don’t have a lot to go on here. So I tagged in a friend of mine who’s an FIA GT series race engineer in Finland to get the dope. He stated, unequivocally that any modern Ferrari is a sucker’s bet, a car for people with little knowledge of exotics… An experiment that usually ends after that one failed attempt to be a “high roller.”
As an aside, I have a good friend who bought a Porsche GT3RS last year. He’s since returned it to Porsche under California ’s Lemon Law. The car was a pile of crap that began using oil at just over 1,000 miles. The dealer and the factory treated him very poorly. On of my favorite comments he made to me during the process was “Thank god I didn’t sell my Ferrari.” You know what they say about opinions and assholes…
Autoproficianado: The answer is any Lexus. More than the BS “Let’s put the same absurd 6.3 V8 engine in every one of our cars!” AMG series Mercedes-Benzes. More than the M brand BMWs that are fat pigs. BMW hasn’t put out a good M car since the Euro E30 or the E36 lightweight. Lexus just sucks taint in the most BDSM way possible. Now, within Porsche, the sucker car is the 911 Carrera. For less money one should buy the Cayman S and they’ll have a MUCH better Porsche. The base 911 is a total sucker car and is solely bought due to status. Lexus is really a Toyota. It’s not “like” a Toyota. It is a Toyota. No manufacturer rebadges a car worse (outside of the US). They’re boring to drive. Everything is fake: the wood, faux tanned leathers, “aluminum” trim etc. What’s the difference between a Camry and an IS250? Not a thing, except for the 32% markup. Suckers… We all know Lexus didn’t help the Nazis kill Jews but that’s not a good enough reason for anyone to buy one. If one has an apprehension against buying German they should get a Cadillac CTS-V and be American. Recall the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.
Before anyone mentions the LF-A, it’s $400,000! For a Lexus! That’s more messed up the Hiroshima or Nagasaki.
To be continued.
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[...] Lawyer wrote an article about cars. [Philadelphia [...]
Rosie, one of the track day instructors told a great story about some guy eating shit in his C63 AMG. Moral of the story – in 99.9% of cases, you are not good enough to turn off the traction control.
Rosie: It’s too bad that the G8 GXP is going away, and that no one bought them until GM announced that they were going to stop selling them in the states.
So what does everyone think of all this “clean burning diesel” stuff that ze Germans are pushing on us now? I’m a sucker for tons of torque and the fuel efficiency is pretty impressive.
PL: Diesels are a disastrous trend for the automakers, no? Too many engines running way too long.
I’ve always thought the quality of a car is mostly a product if the quality of the girls you bang in it. Of course, I still drive the 2000 Mazda Protege I had in high school, so the only real redeeming quality is that it has a back seat that can be driven to secluded locations. It’s a great feature when you’re 16 and living with your parents. Also nice when you’re 25 and back living with your parents.
PL: Friends don’t let friends go to law school. Clearly, you hung with delinquents and fools (I know… so did I. Some family even encouraged me to go.), and if you lay down with dogs, well, you know how the saying goes.
This concludes my insomnia-driven cliche-spouting for the evening.
(Really, just default. Christ, between the strategic mortgage defaults and consumer loans going bad, FICO scores will be as relevant as horoscopes by 2012. “Debt workout nation”… The United States of Insolvents. We all know it’s coming. This dicking around with talk of an alleged recovery is rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.)
Damnit… the cliches won’t stop. I must go.
Any thoughts on the Audi R8 from your car genius friends? They really know what they’re talking about, I’m considering getting one.
I’ve never understood the “status” people derive from buying a Lexus or Infiniti instead of a Toyota or Nissan. With a few exceptions, cars are a depreciating asset. Leasing a Lexus doesn’t scream “striving,” it screams “struggling,” economically and psychologically.
That being said, I have never been a “car guy” and, until my last year of law school, I drove a 1991 Infiniti M30 convertible that I had acquired in college. Despite the chassis instability and decrepitude of the car, it was a fun ride until it died. I’ll always fondly recall driving out to Cocoa Beach with a bucket of fried chicken and a case of beers in the car with my frat brothers, so I have to shit all over the notion that adult men don’t drive convertibles.
PL: Well said. There is no difference between a Toyota truck and its Lexus counterpart save the $10k missing from the wallet of the fool purchasing the latter.
There’s nothing like drooling over what lies just out of reach.
I like cars, and have nothing pithy to say.
PL: Ambition unrequited’s worse than love unrequited.
If by delinquents you mean people who sneak onto a government owned piece of land to have a bonfire, then go piss on the court house and shoot up a house down the street, then yes, I hung out with some delinquents in undergrad.
PL: I know it’s no consolation, but on that alone, I’d hire you. And nominate you for the “Super Lawyers” page as a “Rising Star.”
(By the way, is there anything sillier than that dumb fucking “Super Lawyers” ranking shit? Putting aside the fact that it’s all fixed among lawyers hooking each other up, the concept is such nakedly vacant marketing horseshit. The lists are filled with guys I wouldn’t allow to represent me in a fucking car accident case.)
If only hanging out with delinquents could be used to secure employment in the legal field then maybe I wouldn’t be unemployed and regret wasting the last 3 years of my life?
Also, how often, if ever, do people connect the dots and realize that you are the person writing under the philalawyer name? I realize that you change details in your stories and book to protect your identity, but it has to happened at least once.
PL: It’s happened a couple times. But you’d be surprised how little the lawyers I worked around read, and how unlikely it is they’d ever read a book like that. Most people like to read what reinforces their views. And few like to read anything causing them to deal with ugly existential questions. Recall in the book how I described “lifers” – those life long litigators who know the rot of their lot? When I said that they purposefully avoid anything clarifying the pointlessness of what they’ve spent their lives doing, I wasn’t kidding. Lawyers split into two groups – those who deal with the problem of the job being a waste of time, effort and life and try to make up for that by having rich non-work lives (hence, “Work Sucks. Life Doesn’t Have To.”), and those who ignore the question entirely. The latter outnumbers the former 4:1. For most people, it’s easier to cope by never even considering the frivolousness of the profession. It’s just too painful, even to read about it in a comedy like Happy Hour is for Amateurs. So no – a lot of people I’ve worked around haven’t recognized the material. Because they’d never look. And most of those who know the players and the author were part of the action, and obviously, they’d have no good reason on Earth to tell anyone about that.
The Phaeton’s platform, the Volkswagen Group D1 platform, is shared with the Bentley Continental GT and Bentley Continental Flying Spur. Certain systems, such as the transmission and some internal combustion engines, are also shared with the Audi A8. The D1 is a stand-alone steel platform, and was specifically developed for the Phaeton and Bentley Continental. It is commonly confused with Audi’s D3 platform, which is an all-aluminium-based, instead of the D1’s steel platform.
Jahed- I like the R8. Contrary to the others, I think its a good car, a Gallardo is still roughly 100k more and for what? I like that the R8 can easily be driven around town like an A4, and doesn’t give up anything in the performance category.
Autoproficianado-My mistake re: the Conti and A8. I would still have an A8 or a Phaeton. My Bentley of choice is the new Mulsanne, which I haven’t driven, but did see at Detroit this year. As much as I like the W12, you can’t beat the 6.75 V8, which is feudal Britain’s version of the 427.
Unemployed: I love that since getting laid off there can’t really be any repercussions from people knowing who I am. So long as no one on the Character and Fitness committee for the new bar I’m applying to is one of my Facebook friends, it doesn’t really matter. It’s pretty liberating, and some of my former coworkers are now jealous that I get to write for the sites they read.
PhillaLawyer, Let me know when that changes from “I’d hire you” to “I’ll hire you.” I’d be willing to take $40-50k so long as my hours requirement was scaled down to match and I could spend the rest of my time doing pro bono (to get my school’s loan assistance, which translates to about another $55k/yr, tax free).
PL: I need to mine better cash flow out of the writing gig to create that reality. The way I see it, this internet writing thing has to move to the next level. I’ve so much shit in my head to write and so little time to do it because I have to concentrate on other shit to pay bills… The only way I can see to pull off a leap to the next level is to start doing radio.
I think I could do it well enough to get gobbled up and syndicated. I’m generally not arrogant about any of my abilities (I actually can’t even read a lot of my own writing because I see flaws everywhere), but when I watch an ass like Glenn Beck raking in stacks of money bullshitting, I can’t help thinking, “Yeah. I can swing that.” Writing hasn’t significant enough barriers to entry to make it lucrative enough.
I also think we’ve a dearth of people offering criticism and humor from the middle. This country’s exhausted with the false war of the right and left that the media perpetuates to mine money from the tribes of fools who are tricked into indentifying with either camp.
Be fun, too. Have nuts like Rosie call in… Have kids call in asking the question I get asked a dozen times every single week: “I’ve read everything you wrote on the subject, but I still have to ask, is law school a good idea?”
“What’s the best car?” is an interesting animal to try and tackle in so short a space. You all did well for a first part. I’ll look for the second part.
My question: What’s the best car for having a medium to large size dog? I think leather seats are out with a dog in play, but if you’ve experience otherwise, I’ll listen.
PL: No experience there. But it seems any SUV would do.
Ok, I’ve considered this comment carefully:
“I drove a 1991 Infiniti M30 convertible that I had acquired in college. Despite the chassis instability and decrepitude of the car, it was a fun ride until it died. I’ll always fondly recall driving out to Cocoa Beach with a bucket of fried chicken and a case of beers in the car with my frat brothers, so I have to shit all over the notion that adult men don’t drive convertibles.”
And I’ve realized that maybe I was being a bit obtuse when I said “adult men don’t drive Convertibles unless they’re made by Cadillac or Lincoln and unless they were built before 1973.”
What i was really getting at was:
This – http://vlane.com/img/blogs/mb/feat06infiniti_m30_02.jpg
Plus this – http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yobFGXVq3ks/SlTJG6coB-I/AAAAAAAAAbQ/Z1r8AjB694g/s400/animal_house_760.jpg
Equals this – http://sfcitizen.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/img_6027-copy.jpg
I hope that clarification was helpful. My sincerest apologies for not making my thoughts more obvious.
PIZZA! PIZZA!
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=alrOTKfBPvIs&pos=12
PL: Good for him. I love reading stuff like that. Thanks.
Autoproficianado – Only disagree with you on one thing – MCars. Broadly speaking I think you’re right, they’ve just become progressively more bloated and less true to the original philosophy… however…
E34 M5? Have put some miles on a couple of these and I’m a big fan, although not really a BMW guy.
It’s interesting you posted about cars right before the Philadelphia auto show. Despite growing up in the area, I’ve never been to it before. I plan on going this time around, but I just know I’m going to leave with this nagging urge to buy a better car. I guess that’s the point, though.
PL: Nor have I. By the way, the Manheim auction’s nearby. If you want sweet rides cheap, it’s a great place to pick one up.
Great, GREAT idea for a piece. Besides alcohol and sex, I can think of few objects of male desire more common than the automobile. I’ve always wondered why this factor was absent from your writings in the past…
I like the 3 way approach too. These guys know what they are talking about.
As a fully self-aware member of the “Striver” class, I’m happy to say I loathe all things Lexus and Infiniti, and cannot stand 99.9% of post-E30 M3 drivers. I could throw that whole lot (and their moribund cars) into a woodchipper.
I’m surprised none of the three aficionados brought up the F-40. Seems to be an anti-red horse crowd here, and no doubt their owners are typically douchetastic, but I think that is the finest car ever built. Aesthetically and mechanically there is just nothing more raw, beautiful, and awe-inspiring for my (imaginary) money.
Keep this shit up!!!!
PL: Thanks. I think the F-40 has been supplanted by the Enzo in everyone’s imagination. It’s also kind of an absurd car, with that crazy tail.
Have you considered BlogTalkRadio.com? I don’t know if there’s a fee for setting up a channel, but it might be a good way to get some experience and record a couple shows to send to stations.
PL: We’re setting it up. I’m just such a fucking Luddite, and pulled in so many directions right now. Being creative and having a life with the house, the cars, the kid, etc… is not easy. The world seems to do everything it can to stifle the things you want to do. It’s almost like the Big Machines that control our lives want us to get slow, give up and concede. Thankfully, that’s only seemed to fuel me more, so far.
It’s all good, I guess. I’ll finally learn to organize shit and maximize use of limited time – something I’ve avoided almost all of my life.
I like the article, but from the get go I’m so jaded because i like to think that old school American muscle cars are God’s gift to earth. Nothing like the roar of a big block v-8 to make you feel alive.
PL: I think there’s a good bit of reverence paid to them in Part II… though I could be wrong.
Ten-Key the F40 is a car for the hairy-assed brute, devoid of any electronics, driver assists or power steering. However, I was born when it came out, so it doesn’t have a lot of significance for me beyond a car that appeared on cheap dollar store posters (much like the inferior Countach). The McLaren F1 still does it for me, the F40 is like Raquel Welch or Ali McGraw, the hot chick from an older generation. PL is correct, the Enzo and Porsche Carrera GT have filled the void for this era, and we might not see anything like them again.
PL: I pulled into a gas station a couple years back, just outside Philly, and a Carrera GT roared in next to me. Freaked me out. I looked that owner and said, “Is that what I think it is?” He nodded. Amazing looking car, but if I’m to judge from the remainder of the exchange how impressive it is to own one, I’d have to guess it’s not as good as one might think:
“That thing must be an amazing ride.”
“An amazing brake job, that much I know. It’s like buying another used care to have the brakes done.”
One would think the owner of something like that would have a slightly more romantic response about the vehicle.
But it did sound really cool.
(Raquel Welch had one of the greatest bodies of any era: http://nsaney.com/pics/women/raquel_welch_see_thru.jpg)
You know, the F40 just completely slipped my mind. It wouldn’t change my top 3, but what a bitchen car. It wasn’t a re-eingineered race car for the street. It was a race car with license plates. It was one of those cars that looked like it would kick your ass if you looked at it too long.
I am much more fond of the F40 than I am of the Enzo. I see Enzoes from time to time and I can’t get past the looks of the car. I realize the car has an astronomical performance envelope and a price to match, but for me, I’d analogize it to someone telling me that Rosie O’Donnell was the hottest fuck in America…
Another Ferrari that wasn’t mentioned is the 288 GTO. Another one off car that deserves it’s status as an icon.That car was a pitchfork wielding devil in an era where it’s siblings were more well known for being the coolest place to wear a Detroit Tigers cap than they were known for peformance.
PL: Rosie O’Donnell is a perfect comparison. The Enzo’s the ugliest supercar in history. I remember seeing the photos of some Swedish venture capitalist crashing one in California a few years ago and thinking, “Meh. Ugly piece of shit anyway.” The F40 had much nicer lines to it, and yes, it was far more menacing. The grill on the Enzo dredges up notions of what an Alpha Romeo might look like on a quadruple cycle of steroids.
I got to see a CGT have its clutch changed once. Very cool, the clutch is tiny, maybe a bit bigger than a CD. Owner blew it out in less than 5000miles driving up and down the ramps of his underground parking garage. He worked in finance.
Rosie as the Enzo…awesome.
F40 is certainly dated but I love it despite that.
Here’s two reasons to love it. Long version first, short but sweet version last (if I can be so bold as to put some youtube links here…)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3lgehIWXC8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGHW33VGNXQ
No mention of the Veryron surprised me too. I don’t really like it, but many people seem to.
Can’t wait for part two.
I too will be bold and put up a youtube link because people need to experience this. The younger generation needs to be educated and us oldniks need to be reminded… This should be played at high volume, preferably in a residential area….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox2wgHqrNy0
Four rotors, no waiting. In person, perceptively, there are only two things louder than a race rotary; a Fuel car and the Space Shuttle. I love the ZX-Turbo GTP car for her body, but I love the 787B for her mind.
I was going to add that for tons of fun on a rainy day, I’d recommend you do a youtube search for “dyno accident”, “dyno explosion” or similar key words. Always fun to watch someone else spend their money the hard way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGaXtdW_NNo
PIZZA! PIZZA!
Redneck Rocket – Yes, the E334 was a great M5, but it was last produced 15 years ago. Also, I really like the E36/8 M Coupe (1999 – 2002) last produced 8 years ago. It’s been too long for an M product to come out of BMW that justifies the badge.
Rosie and all. The F40 is the first supercar and his daddy was the 288 GTO. As much as I loathe Ferrari, there would be no McLaren F1, Porsche CGT etc. without this car having come to market first. This and the 288 were the only Ferrari cars that I’ve ever liked. Fuck Ferris Bueller, Fuck the Enzo (Mc12 Corsa anyone?!?!). The car doesn’t compromise. You open the doors with a cable door lock for God’s sake. Lexan windows from the factory. A clutch that will make your calf look like it’s got Arnold’s implants. We had two (F40 and F50) recently side by side. The F50 is junk. Most guys I know that have had both have dumped the 50 and kept the 40 over the years; and they’re right. The F50 is a convertible, it’s much larger and heavier, It’s easier to drive. It’s lacks the edges of the F40, that still looks modern today, and replaces it with curves and a styling theme that’s 1990’s and dated. FUCK FERRARI. They had it right 20 years ago. What happened to them? Todays cars are built with chicken wire, old technology, bad welds, atrocious paint, door locks I wouldn’t trust on my gym locker, fake everything, unrefined and unfinished interiors with exposed screws and door handles that jiggle, metal brackets on their windshield wipers, navigation systems from a Jeep Wrangler (see Ferrari California). Unremarkable shit. I’m shocked and appalled. Ferrari only cares about F1. They started making road cars to finance their F1 operations. They cut corners everywhere on their road cars to make more profit to fund F1. And in recent years they done a lousy job winning with that. Watch Schumi spank them with the Silver Arrow. And I hate F1. The only reason I’m following it this year is to see if Schumi can beat Ferrari. I don’t care if he wins the championship; just so he beats the prancing horse at its own game. “We’re Ferrari, we’ve got trees in our factory”. Oh yeah? Well, there’s nothing to get wood about.
F40, yes
F355 no
F360 no
F430 no
F458 no
550 no
575 no
612 no
Enzo no
599 no
Embarrassing. The prancing horse; eternally preparing itself for penetration.
California
Unrelated question…
Do you ever go to see cover bands for some of your favorite acts? If not fine. But….
For the sake of argument: is there a set of pre-determined characteristics you look for making that cover band more acceptable than the another? At the end of the day, the main point behind seeing a cover band is to get as close as possible to the real thing…right? But, regardless of how close the band comes to sounding/looking/recreating the atmosphere of said band, does it even matter because you always know in the back of your mind it’ll never feel as legit as saying, “I saw X here in 19XX and they shut the place down.”
For the record, this is stemming from a Pink Floyd cover band related debate with a friend. Random, I know.
Thanks.
PL: I have. There was a Dead cover band I saw around Philly a few times that were enjoyable. And you’re right, I didn’t care about the characteristics of the band for exactly the reasons you note. They weren’t the Dead, and it’s mindless to even attempt the leap across the canyon it takes to forget for a moment and pretend they were. I just enjoyed them as a band doing great covers of Dead tunes, nothing more, nothing less.
I’d never go to see a “copy” act that attempted to recreate the original’s show.